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[FAO] FACEBOOK Addiction ; Too Hilarious



If you are on Facebook, I am sure you will find this hilarious


The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,"I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like' button."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."

The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.

"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

"What do you like most about Facebook?"

"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."

"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."

"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."

"Let me guess. Farm ville?"

"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. "

"What pic are you using?"

"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

"To make yourself look prettier?"

"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

"When did you realize that your Face-booking might be a problem?"

"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

"What did you do?"

"What else? I unfriended him of course!"







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[FAO] For Your Smile Only ;)



Who is the luckiest man of the month?
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Kanimozhi's husband
how???
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Rs 214 crores in hand and wife in jail!!!

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Wife: Can u explain 2 me hw dis lipstik got on ur collar?


Husband: No! I really can't.I distinctly remembered
having taken out my shirt off ;-)

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Marwadi & chinese in a train.
A mosquito enters .
Chinese catches & eat it.
Marwadi sees this.
Another mosquito enters.
Marwadi catches & asks chinese-
"KHARIDEGA KYA?"

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Simple but true:

The person who sends more msgs to his/her
friends...-
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Is the one who is still SINGLE...!!!;)

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Cheating in exams is the best exercise :
for your eyes

your eyes roll to see the answersheet of your seatmate !!!
Your ears bcome sensitive even to the softest
whispers to listen what your classmate says...
Your neck stretches either way to get clues...
Your hands move faster than ever to copy...
Your feet kick your classmate to let them know that you wanna copy...
So this is the best way to remain healthy...
Rock On CHEATERS !!! ;-P


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[FAO] Top-15-Amazing-Coincidences- very weird



Top 15 Amazing Coincidences

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From The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche: "A young woman I was treating had, at a critical moment, a dream in which she was given a golden scarab. While she was telling me this dream I sat with my back to the closed window. Suddenly I heard a noise behind me, like a gentle tapping. I turned round and saw a flying insect knocking against the windowpane from outside. I opened the window and caught the creature in the air as it flew in. It was the nearest analogy to the golden scarab that one finds in our latitudes, a scarabaeid beetle, the common rose-chafer (Cetonia aurata) which contrary to its usual habits had evidently felt an urge to get into a dark room at this particular moment. I must admit that nothing like it ever happened to me before or since, and that the dream of the patient has remained unique in my experience." - Carl Jung
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[FAO] Best Wishes To You







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[FAO] 50 Most Colorful And Vibrant Body Tattoos







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[FAO] Beautiful Koyal Rana







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[FAO] Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)






Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)


Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)

Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)


Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)Pyaar Ka Punchnama (Dimag ki Dahi - Full Dialogue)



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[FAO] Why OBAMA is tensioned???





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[FAO] 15 Spectacular tricks to teach your body





15 Spectacular tricks to teach your body
 
1.) If you've got an itch in your throat, scratch your ear. When the nerves in the ear get stimulated, they create a reflex in the throat that causes a muscle spasm, which cures the itch.
 
2.) Having trouble hearing someone at a party or on the phone? Use your right ear…it's better at picking up rapid speech..  But, the left is better at picking up music tones.
 
3.) If you need to relieve yourself BADLY, but you're not anywhere near a bathroom, fantasize about RELATIONS.  That preoccupies your brain and distracts it..
 
4.) Next time the doctor's going to give you an injection, COUGH as the needle is going in. The cough raises the level of pressure in your spinal canal, which limits the pain sensation as it tries to travel to your brain..
 
5.) Clear a stuffed nose or relieve sinus pressure by pushing your
Tongue against the roof of your mouth…then pressing a finger between your eyebrows. Repeat that for 20 seconds…it causes the vomer bone to rock, which loosens your congestion and clears you up.
 
6.) If you ate a big meal and you're feeling full as you go to sleep, lay on your left side.  That'll keep you from suffering from acid reflux…it keeps your stomach lower than your esophagus, which will help keep stomach acid from sliding up your throat.
 
7.) You can stop a toothache by rubbing ice on the back of your hand, on the webbed area between your thumb and index finger.  The nerve pathways there stimulate a part of the brain that blocks pain signals from your mouth.
 
8.) If you get all messed up on liquor, and the room starts spinning, put your hand on something stable.  The reason: Alcohol dilutes the blood in the part of your ear called the cupula, which regulates balance. Putting your hand on something stable gives your brain another reference point, which will help make the world stop spinning.
 
9.) Stop a nose bleed by putting some cotton on your upper gums…right behind the small dent below your nose…and press against it hard.  Most of the bleeding comes from the cartilage wall that divides the nose, so pressing there helps get it to stop.
 
10.) Nervous?  Slow your heart rate down by blowing on your thumb. The vagus nerve controls your heart rate, and you can calm it down by breathing.
 
11.) Need to breathe underwater for a while???  Instead of taking a huge breath, HYPERVENTILATE before you go under, by taking a bunch of short breaths. That'll trick your brain into thinking it has more oxygen, and buy you about 10 extra seconds.
 
12.) You can prevent BRAIN FREEZE by pressing your tongue flat against the roof of your mouth, covering as much surface area as possible. Brain freeze happens because the nerves in the roof of your mouth get extremely cold, so your brain thinks your whole body is cold. It compensates by overheating…which causes your head to hurt. By warming up the roof of your mouth, you'll chill your brain and feel better.
 
13.)  If your hand falls asleep, rock your head from side to side.
That'll wake your hand or arm up in less than a minute.  Your hand falls asleep because of the nerves in your neck compressing…so loosening your neck is the cure.  If your foot falls asleep, that's governed by nerves lower in the body, so you need to stand up and walk around.
 
14.) Finally, this one's totally USELESS, but a nice trick.  Have
Someone stick their arm out to the side, straight, palm down. Press down on his wrist with two fingers.  He'll resist, and his arm will stay horizontal.  Then, have him put his foot on a surface that's half an inch off the ground, like a stack of magazines, and do the trick again. Because his spine position is thrown off, his arm will fall right to his side, no matter how much he tries to resist.
 
15.)  Got the hiccups?  Press thumb and second finger over you
r eyebrows until the hiccups are over usually shortly.
 
 


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