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[FAO] Funny One Liners





                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
 Funny one liners


* In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

*  In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

*  On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

*  On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

*  At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

*  On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

*  On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

*  On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

*  At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

*  Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

*  On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

*  In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

*  In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

*  On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)

*  In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

*  Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

*  In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

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